Walking on eggshells.......

So im gonna start right off the bat on this one, Im tired of having to watch everything i do and everything i say. Im so exhausted from having to walk on eggshells every single minute of my life. I personally feel that i am a good trust worthy person. I want to be able to be me and act and feel the way i want, make choices i want. ive been through alot in my life up until this point, my past has made me who i am today. I want to beleive that i am strong, but when people continuously try to bring you down, it gets difficult to truly beleive this.  I feel that i have no control over my life and what gose on in it, its very stressful and upsetting. I wish that i could have a say in things not get in trouble for every little thing i do. I have to watch everything post on facebook, i have to make sure my face looks happy enough, i have to be careful who i hang out with....make sure i do things so people dont get mad....its so tireing. People have excpectations of when i should go to work, when i should be over my daughters death, over my past, who i should hang out with, talk to. my fiance has decided to work on the road im alone 3 weeks at a time, i have no say or right to my feelings about this, when i break down that makes me a bad person. i clean , take care of the dog, i love, i care. and i get shit on. i would never cheat but my boyfriend thinks i would. his family hates it and i just sit and take it. I lost my littel girl not even 3 months ago, and everyone thinks i should just be ok...news flash im not... i buried my child.I love and miss her so much...i cant talk to neone about it and it hurts. ahhhhhh im just so stressed and unhappy. I dont know what to do feels like im losing myself sometimes.......ppl make me angry, life makes me angry.....at some point i gotta put me first and make me happy not everyone else. Just love me for me for the choices i make and the things i do, im not perfect but no one is.